I love it when I realize a lesson that God is teaching me. The big lessons are kind of obvious, and the smaller lessons are a little trickier to spot. I'd like to say that this was one of those lessons where I was so in tune to what God was doing that I noticed a detail of my life that He was working on. I can't. This was one of those biggies, and I am SO thankful for what He has done for me.
God woke me up.
One Thursday morning, I tearfully told Mike that I really didn't enjoy my life. I love my husband and my kids, and I'm doing what I always dreamed of doing, but I just didn't enjoy my life. Somewhere along the line I had begun to see my life as one long to-do list that was never fully accomplished. I would get irritated when I tried to work on my never-ending to-do list and my kids would interrupt my efforts. It stressed me out when my house was messy (which is pretty much all the time with a 4yo, 2yo and 1yo). I got frustrated with their constant demands on my time.
We were having a leadership seminar at church the next night that was exactly what I needed to hear. One of us needed to stay back with the kids, and in God's orchestration, we decided that I would go and Mike would stay home. The video we watched was of Priscilla Shirer. She talked about our tendency to be discontent with life, constantly waiting for that next thing. Maybe you're single, and you think that life will start being great when you're married. Maybe you're married without kids and you begin to think, "Oh, life will be great when I am holding that baby in my arms." Then you have kids and you might think that life will be better when they're out of this toddler stage. I could list more, but you get the idea.
Priscilla went on to say that we need to wake up, and see what God is doing in the present, instead of sleeping through it and waiting for the next season of life. I realized that this was just what God needed to tell me. Then in God's way, He put me in a discussion group with women who had grown children. The first discussion question was, "Have you ever had a season of your life that you slept through?" Before I had said a word, every one of those women said that they felt like they slept through the years when their kids were young. With tears flowing down my face, I confessed that I had been asleep and God was waking me up.
I got home and told Mike about it all. God was waking me up! I am so grateful! Life is so much more enjoyable with my eyes open! I can see what God is doing in my kids, and don't get so annoyed at their antics. I am more present with them, able to live life instead of dreading my to-do list that constantly hung out in the back of my mind. I still have moments when I recognize that I am beginning to sleepwalk, and in those moments I pray that God would wake me up.
I don't share this with the blog world to have you think, "Oh, poor Melissa. I had no idea you felt this way." Instead, I share this to shout out what God has done in my life. It is truly a transformation in the way I view my life and I am so grateful for what He has done. I also think that there may be some other sleepwalking moms out there who might need a little encouragement. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. Maybe you're not a sleepwalking mom, but you are sleepwalking in the stage of life you are in. Take heart and know that God can and will wake you up and help you to SEE the ways He is at work in your life. They're all around you. It's time to wake up and start enjoying them.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
March in Pictures
It's been a while since I posted, so I thought I would update with some photos from the month of March.
A day in our house wouldn't be complete without a wrestling match with Daddy. It started as a Tate and Daddy thing, but now the girls like to get in on it too. When Mike comes home from work, some of the first words he hears are, "Daddy, can we wrestle?!?!"
I know it is strange, but our kids often eat crackers for breakfast. On this particular day, Tate was eating a Triscuit, when I heard, "Mommy! I made where we live!" I turned around and sure enough, it's the state of Minnesota!
It's always fun when the kids are playing well together, so I thought I'd snap a picture and capture the moment. Really, they play fairly well together much of the time. It's fun to see their different personalities when they play, and when they try to work things out when they aren't getting along perfectly.
Somebody had a birthday this month, so Norah got to go birthday shopping with Daddy and Tate was so excited that he helped Daddy wrap my birthday presents. He told me, "I wrapped the watering can!!!" I tried to act surprised when I opened it.
Anja's new favorite pastime is climbing the stairs! She thinks she's pretty great when she gets halfway up with no one noticing!
I remember wearing neon colors when I was growing up, and when they went out of fashion, we never thought they'd come back. Well, low and behold, here's my daughter showing off her new outfit - neon yellow, complete with matching neon yellow socks.
Did I mention she likes to climb?
Tate's current favorite things is Larry Boy from VeggieTales, and he draws him whenever he gets a chance.
When Norah got out of bed, I started getting her dressed, but couldn't stop her before she ran to the living room in her undies to find her Easter basket. I'm a believer in capturing moments how they happened, so here you go folks. This is what Easter morning looked like at our house before we headed off to church to celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior. We have fun with the colorful eggs, but always remember that the real reason we celebrate is because Christ paid the ransom for us so that we can be free from sin's bondage. Praise God! May we remember and celebrate Christ's gift to us every single day of the year.
The cousins came over to celebrate Easter with us. They had fun with an Easter egg hunt in the house. Since there are still a couple inches of snow on the ground, and it's windy and cold here, indoors was our only option, but we had fun! Happy Easter!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Husband Envy
Wives, have you ever looked at someone else's husband and thought, "I wish my husband would _______ like her husband does?" If you have done that, then you've suffered at some point from what I am calling "husband envy." Again, I noticed this tendency to compare ourselves with picture perfect comments on social media and wish our husbands would be, or do something that they currently are not. Don't get the wrong idea here; I am in no way condoning bashing our husbands so that others won't envy them! We need to always respect our husbands, especially in public. Then the task is to not envy other wives when they speak well of their husbands. How do we keep ourselves from doing that?
*Find the positive things about your husband. Your husband may not be perfect (he's not), but he has many endearing qualities about him. Have you ever noticed how when you focus on the negative, all you see are the bad things? The same thing applies here. If you focus on the positive, you are bound to start seeing more things that you like.
*Be a better wife. Maybe that's a harsh way of saying it, because even if we try harder, we'll never be perfect, but my point is this; scripture tells us not to judge someone for the speck of dust is their eye when you have a log in your own (Matthew 7:3). Jesus also told the Pharisees that whoever had no sin could throw the first stone at the adulteress (John 8:7). So our husbands are not perfect, but neither are we. So before we can point out flaws in them, we need to work on our own lives first. Last week I read through Proverbs 31, and while I don't think I'll ever be that woman, I realized all the areas where I fall short and can improve. As a whole, the woman described there is a hard working wife. Do I work hard? Not always. She "rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household." I'm sure she had to work a lot harder to provide food for her family than I do. Maybe she had to rise before the sun to grind the wheat and bake the bread. All I have to do is open up my drawer and pull out my pre-sliced bread from the grocery store.
*Spend time in Scripture. Apart from being a better wife, we need to spend time being refined by our Maker and become a better person. As I've realized my need to spend time in the Word, and done it, I've craved it more. A bonus was when my husband noticed that I'd been spending more time with my Bible open, he greatly appreciated it. Becoming closer to God can only bring you closer to your husband.
*Be genuinely happy for the wife with the awesome husband. This is a hard one, but if we are happy for the good in someone else's life, then it is impossible to be envious or jealous. The opposite is also true. If jealousy and envy rule our minds, then we'll never be genuinely happy for anyone else because we'll always want what they have.
*Encourage your husband. A few months ago, I was listening to a radio program about women who wish their husbands would spiritually lead their households. Nagging your husband to lead your family in devotions, or even join the family for church is not going to go very far. In fact, it might take you in the opposite direction. Instead, the speaker on this program advised wives to look for an area of strength in their husbands and build him up in that area. Saying something like, "I really appreciated it when you __________," will encourage him to do that specific thing more often, but it might also encourage him to step up in other areas that you never expected. Also keep in mind that it takes ten positive comments to undo one negative comment, so don't hold back. It might feel awkward at first, but a little encouragement will go a long way.
Did you notice that fixing the sickness of husband envy has little to do with changing him into the husband you wish he was and more to do with who you are and the way you see things? All of these things come with a caveat though. You can try really hard to do the right things and be a good wife for your husband, but if you are constantly trying to be good for your husband (or any other person for that matter), you'll always fall short. Seek a closer relationship with God and you will grow as a person and a wife.
*Find the positive things about your husband. Your husband may not be perfect (he's not), but he has many endearing qualities about him. Have you ever noticed how when you focus on the negative, all you see are the bad things? The same thing applies here. If you focus on the positive, you are bound to start seeing more things that you like.
*Be a better wife. Maybe that's a harsh way of saying it, because even if we try harder, we'll never be perfect, but my point is this; scripture tells us not to judge someone for the speck of dust is their eye when you have a log in your own (Matthew 7:3). Jesus also told the Pharisees that whoever had no sin could throw the first stone at the adulteress (John 8:7). So our husbands are not perfect, but neither are we. So before we can point out flaws in them, we need to work on our own lives first. Last week I read through Proverbs 31, and while I don't think I'll ever be that woman, I realized all the areas where I fall short and can improve. As a whole, the woman described there is a hard working wife. Do I work hard? Not always. She "rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household." I'm sure she had to work a lot harder to provide food for her family than I do. Maybe she had to rise before the sun to grind the wheat and bake the bread. All I have to do is open up my drawer and pull out my pre-sliced bread from the grocery store.
*Spend time in Scripture. Apart from being a better wife, we need to spend time being refined by our Maker and become a better person. As I've realized my need to spend time in the Word, and done it, I've craved it more. A bonus was when my husband noticed that I'd been spending more time with my Bible open, he greatly appreciated it. Becoming closer to God can only bring you closer to your husband.
*Be genuinely happy for the wife with the awesome husband. This is a hard one, but if we are happy for the good in someone else's life, then it is impossible to be envious or jealous. The opposite is also true. If jealousy and envy rule our minds, then we'll never be genuinely happy for anyone else because we'll always want what they have.
*Encourage your husband. A few months ago, I was listening to a radio program about women who wish their husbands would spiritually lead their households. Nagging your husband to lead your family in devotions, or even join the family for church is not going to go very far. In fact, it might take you in the opposite direction. Instead, the speaker on this program advised wives to look for an area of strength in their husbands and build him up in that area. Saying something like, "I really appreciated it when you __________," will encourage him to do that specific thing more often, but it might also encourage him to step up in other areas that you never expected. Also keep in mind that it takes ten positive comments to undo one negative comment, so don't hold back. It might feel awkward at first, but a little encouragement will go a long way.
Did you notice that fixing the sickness of husband envy has little to do with changing him into the husband you wish he was and more to do with who you are and the way you see things? All of these things come with a caveat though. You can try really hard to do the right things and be a good wife for your husband, but if you are constantly trying to be good for your husband (or any other person for that matter), you'll always fall short. Seek a closer relationship with God and you will grow as a person and a wife.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Mommy Envy
We've all done it. Compared ourselves with other moms. It's so easy to do when you read a Facebook status, look at a cute idea on Pinterest of something some other mom did with her kids, or read one of the many many blogs out there. You look at other moms and assume that they have it all together; that this picture of the smiling children doing a fun activity is the way their days always go. We wonder why we can't be a super-mom like she is.
It is so easy to fall into the comparison trap. Sometimes comparing can be helpful because it brings perspective (like reading that a friend of mine has kids who wake up at 4 or 5 in the a.m. makes 6:30 seem like sleeping in. It really would have helped my mood if I would have remembered that this morning!), but often it brings discontentment, or dissatisfaction with the situation that God has us in. Paul writes to the Philippians saying, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (4:11-13). Whatever situation we face, we need to rely on God for His strength. Yes, even in the times when life is going exactly the way we like it. Especially then; because in those times we run the risk of becoming prideful and thinking we can do it without God's help, and pride is a very dangerous sin. It is the root of a lot of other sins. (Proverbs 8:13, 16:18 and 29:13, Mark 7:22, and 1 John 2:16 are some verses that tell us what God thinks about pride in case you want to look them up.) And in the times when you are challenged beyond what you think you can handle, know that we serve a God who has overcome the world! That is an amazing thought. He never loses the battle; He always wins in the end, so whatever my battle is He can give me the strength. The other day when my patience was wearing thin, I was very aware that I could not do it on my own. My words miraculously came out of my mouth calmly instead of the impatient way they played in my head. I thanked God for that moment, because I had every intention of snapping at my kids.
The truth is, you'll never be super-mom and neither will she (whoever "she" is). Because truly, none of us can do this on our own. We need God to be our strength and our guide. I write these words as much for myself as anyone else. I've realized this in myself so much lately. It's not that my need for God wasn't there before, but my sinfulness and my weakness has been magnified in my eyes so that I can see His perfection and my dire need for Him even more than before.
So remember the next time you are tempted to be discontent; God wants you to be content right where you are and He will give you exactly what you need not just to get through it, but to do it well. Then you can give Him the glory for a job well done.
It is so easy to fall into the comparison trap. Sometimes comparing can be helpful because it brings perspective (like reading that a friend of mine has kids who wake up at 4 or 5 in the a.m. makes 6:30 seem like sleeping in. It really would have helped my mood if I would have remembered that this morning!), but often it brings discontentment, or dissatisfaction with the situation that God has us in. Paul writes to the Philippians saying, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (4:11-13). Whatever situation we face, we need to rely on God for His strength. Yes, even in the times when life is going exactly the way we like it. Especially then; because in those times we run the risk of becoming prideful and thinking we can do it without God's help, and pride is a very dangerous sin. It is the root of a lot of other sins. (Proverbs 8:13, 16:18 and 29:13, Mark 7:22, and 1 John 2:16 are some verses that tell us what God thinks about pride in case you want to look them up.) And in the times when you are challenged beyond what you think you can handle, know that we serve a God who has overcome the world! That is an amazing thought. He never loses the battle; He always wins in the end, so whatever my battle is He can give me the strength. The other day when my patience was wearing thin, I was very aware that I could not do it on my own. My words miraculously came out of my mouth calmly instead of the impatient way they played in my head. I thanked God for that moment, because I had every intention of snapping at my kids.
The truth is, you'll never be super-mom and neither will she (whoever "she" is). Because truly, none of us can do this on our own. We need God to be our strength and our guide. I write these words as much for myself as anyone else. I've realized this in myself so much lately. It's not that my need for God wasn't there before, but my sinfulness and my weakness has been magnified in my eyes so that I can see His perfection and my dire need for Him even more than before.
So remember the next time you are tempted to be discontent; God wants you to be content right where you are and He will give you exactly what you need not just to get through it, but to do it well. Then you can give Him the glory for a job well done.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Christmas in Pictures
We had a fun Christmas season this year, as I hope you did too. As I type that statement, I am reminded that Christmas isn't just about fun. It's about worshiping Jesus. Tate and I had a conversation about that one day when we were listening to "Kids Christmas music" on Pandora. I said to Tate, "You know what's sad? This whole time we've been listening to music, there hasn't been a single song about Jesus. They are all about Santa. Christmas isn't about Santa. It's about worshiping Jesus." Tate replied, "So, they are worshiping Santa?" The wisdom of a child! That being said, I hope that your Christmas was more about Jesus than it was about anything else.
After the Christmas decorations went up, we had a little photo shoot in the house to try to catch some pictures that were acceptable for the Christmas card. These are ones that didn't make the cut for one reason or another.
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On Christmas morning, the 5 of us exchanged gifts at our house, left the gifts strewn about the living room and packed into the car for our week long Christmas celebration. Our first stop on our Christmas trip was Grandma Lynette and Grandpa Jim's house for a couple of days. We celebrated with "the cousins" on Christmas day....and of course had to get the obligatory picture in front of the Christmas tree!
Every year we eat some of the standard Christmas meal dishes like lefse, Swedish sausage, rice pudding, sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes, along with a few other things. This year I made a new Christmas dish. Actually it's an old favorite of my Grandpa's. Fruit soup. Lots of prunes and other dried fruit cooked to mush (well, apparently I cooked it a little too mushy according to Grandpa. Oh well, I'll try again next year). If you'd like, I can send you the recipe so you can try it too!
Have you ever given a gift that was a hit? That was this year with my niece Maddy. This was the first present she opened, and she read it the rest of the day. We had to remind her every time it was her turn again to open another present. It sure doesn't happen with every gift you give, but when it does, it is priceless!
Our next leg of the journey was to Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Gerry's house in Chicago. If you've read my blog for a while, you'll know that we aren't all that fond of road trips, but this year exceeded our expectations. We made it down there in a decent amount of time with relatively little crying (and no puking).
We celebrated Christmas on Saturday with the whole family. There were lots of presents, good food and good company.
It's fun to watch the kids play together as they get older. Our niece, Noelle was born in May and Norah was born just 5 months later, so I'm sure they'll have many memorable times together! I've apologized several times for naming Norah with the same first 2 letters, because it gets confusing sometimes! Anja is starting to want to join in the fun too!
For some reason this year we've broken more ornaments than all the other years combined. One included a glass ball that was filled with thousands of tiny red beads. I'm still finding them around the house and I'm sure I will for a long, long time. So, last night as we were all doing our thing around the house, I came around the corner to find Anja tugging at the string of red berries on the Christmas tree. The tree was beginning to teeter and I caught it just before it hit the floor. Several ornaments fell off, but thankfully none of them broke and thankfully it didn't fall on top of Anja. I couldn't get it to stand up again, so I leaned it against the wall and decided to take care of it in the morning. Well, this morning when I went to take the decorations off of it, I attempted to set it up straight again so it would be easier to get the back ones off and this is what happened:
The tree is now all disassembled and ready to be put in the box until next year. It was pretty while it lasted. Our Christmas celebration ended with a bang this year! (Bad, bad joke. I know.)
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Thankful
I know that Thanksgiving has passed, but I took some pictures during our Thanksgiving celebration that show some of the things I am thankful for this year. Here they are in no particular order:
I am so thankful for this smiling face. Anja is such a bright spot in my day. She is ready with a huge smile like this one pretty much every time you look at her, and she does this little dance with her head that is just the cutest! (can you tell I'm her mommy) Most people say that she is a carbon copy of her daddy, but if you look really closely, you can see a faint dimple in her right cheek that comes from mommy.
I am thankful for this view (yes, even the giant snowflakes). We moved into our house in July, so I was excited to see it the view in the fall. Once the leaves fell off the trees I told Mike that it could snow anytime, because I was excited to see what the back yard would look like with snow. We continue to feel blessed by this house and look forward to many years of raising our kids here and opening it up to others!
This one wasn't taken on Thanksgiving, but I am very thankful this year for the chance I have to teach Tate preschool. It has truly been a blessing to see his excitement to learn and have the privilege to see the process.
I am thankful for my beautiful family. (Tate's not lookin' so beautiful here, but it's honestly hard to get a shot where he's not talking!) I have an amazing husband who I learn from all the time just by watching his life and how he desires to grow as a man of God. He loves our children and desires to be an important part of their lives. We often sit back and look at our kids in awe of the blessing that they are in our lives. I am also very grateful for the person behind the camera. My sister-in-law, Kristen, came for Thanksgiving this year and spent the week with us. I was SO thankful for the extra help that she gave me (since I decided to potty train Norah while she was here). I am blessed to have a good relationship with her!
I am thankful that this I-can-do-it-myself-2yr old girl can now put on her own socks! It marks one more accomplishment, however I don't think she's going to need a whole lot of encouragement in the area of independence! She is 2 through and through and wants do everything "me self."
I am thankful for my sister. We didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things growing up (probably normal sibling disagreements), but now she is a great friend and I really do miss living 10 miles away from her. With almost 100 miles between us now, it's a little harder to just spend the morning at her house with our kids not-so-quietly playing in the background.
Cousins are the best! I'm so thankful for this crew of kids who my kids love and who love my kids! I'm so thankful that they have the privilege of growing up with cousins close to their ages (on both sides of the family), and who are raised in homes that strive to serve and glorify God.
My list could go on without pictures, because I truly have so many things to be thankful for. Above all else, I am thankful that I have been undeservedly forgiven because of the sacrifice that Jesus gave when He came to earth as a baby and paid for my sins when He died on the cross. I am so grateful that this Christmas season is not an empty quest for more, because we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Adventures of a Little Boy
I'll give $1,000 to anyone who can guess what the following 6 items have in common:
1. backpack
2. baster
3. pacifier
4. socks
5. flashlight
6. massaging ball
If you guessed that they are all items Tate packed to bring on a hike, then you've guessed correctly! How many winners do I have out there? (I'm really hoping none, because I don't have $1,000 to give away)
Tate packed his backpack last week and told us that he was ready to go on a hike. For a couple of days, he asked when we could go on our hike, so we set off on Friday for a fun family adventure. It was so much fun to watch Tate explore in his curious boy way.
It has been a warm week (think Minnesota in November and add 10 degrees), so it was perfect for a hike. On Friday morning we packed up the kids and headed to the river where there are some paths that feel like you are in the middle of the woods.
We had walked about 50 feet when Tate saw a bench and said, "I'm feeling kind of tired. I think we need to take a break." We convinced him that we should hike a little more before we took a break, so we'd rest at the bench on the way back.
Along the path, Tate announced that he was going to look for lightening bugs (remember it's November in Minnesota) up by a fallen log. Once we got there, he very purposefully set his backpack on the ground, unzipped the front pocket and took out his flashlight. He explained that the lightening bugs were eating underground, so he had to use his flashlight to find them. After he had found one and looked at it for a couple of minutes, he packed up and we set off again.
On our way back to the car, we passed the bench again where Tate insisted we all sit down and rest. Again, he set down his backpack and unzipped it. Before we knew it, he had taken out the pair of socks he had packed (which we told him was a very wise thing to bring on a hike) and was getting ready to change them. Daddy explained that sometimes we bring things in our backpacks that we don't always use, but we have just in case we need them. It took a little convincing, but he put them back in his bag and took out the baster. This was used to warm us up, so he squeezed a little air on each of us and put it back in his backpack. I was a little confused when he started taking off his jacket, but then realized that it made complete sense, because of course he'd want a massage after a long hike! He handed Mike the massaging ball and asked for a back massage while we sat there on the bench. Like the good big brother he is, he had also packed a pacifier for his little sister (which was pretty fuzzy, so I suggested she keep the one she already had).
It makes me smile to watch this little boy's imagination. It's only a matter of time until our next adventure! Next time I'll bring my camera!
1. backpack
2. baster
3. pacifier
4. socks
5. flashlight
6. massaging ball
If you guessed that they are all items Tate packed to bring on a hike, then you've guessed correctly! How many winners do I have out there? (I'm really hoping none, because I don't have $1,000 to give away)
Tate packed his backpack last week and told us that he was ready to go on a hike. For a couple of days, he asked when we could go on our hike, so we set off on Friday for a fun family adventure. It was so much fun to watch Tate explore in his curious boy way.
It has been a warm week (think Minnesota in November and add 10 degrees), so it was perfect for a hike. On Friday morning we packed up the kids and headed to the river where there are some paths that feel like you are in the middle of the woods.
We had walked about 50 feet when Tate saw a bench and said, "I'm feeling kind of tired. I think we need to take a break." We convinced him that we should hike a little more before we took a break, so we'd rest at the bench on the way back.
Along the path, Tate announced that he was going to look for lightening bugs (remember it's November in Minnesota) up by a fallen log. Once we got there, he very purposefully set his backpack on the ground, unzipped the front pocket and took out his flashlight. He explained that the lightening bugs were eating underground, so he had to use his flashlight to find them. After he had found one and looked at it for a couple of minutes, he packed up and we set off again.
On our way back to the car, we passed the bench again where Tate insisted we all sit down and rest. Again, he set down his backpack and unzipped it. Before we knew it, he had taken out the pair of socks he had packed (which we told him was a very wise thing to bring on a hike) and was getting ready to change them. Daddy explained that sometimes we bring things in our backpacks that we don't always use, but we have just in case we need them. It took a little convincing, but he put them back in his bag and took out the baster. This was used to warm us up, so he squeezed a little air on each of us and put it back in his backpack. I was a little confused when he started taking off his jacket, but then realized that it made complete sense, because of course he'd want a massage after a long hike! He handed Mike the massaging ball and asked for a back massage while we sat there on the bench. Like the good big brother he is, he had also packed a pacifier for his little sister (which was pretty fuzzy, so I suggested she keep the one she already had).
It makes me smile to watch this little boy's imagination. It's only a matter of time until our next adventure! Next time I'll bring my camera!
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