Weary. That's the word that I am using to describe my state of mind right now in this road of foster care and adoption.
We gave our hearts to a little boy more than 10 months ago, and we continue to wait and see what the final outcome will be. For now, we keep doing what we're doing. That's been my motto whenever we've thought we were coming close to finality, only to be extended one, two months. We'll just keep doing what we're doing. We will keep parenting this adorable little guy. We will keep kissing his boo-boos. We will keep feeding him, and changing him. We will keep loving him.
Throughout this process, we've seen a lot of grace given to the parents, and questioned if the decisions being made were truly in the best interest of the child. For instance, our little guy needs to visit his mom after 7 months of no contact - twice next week. This visit will be observed by a well-respected attachment specialist, so I think it will be very telling, but at the same time we know that it will be very stressful for him.
Thankfully, we are on the home stretch, with court in less than a month, which will determine whether or not parental rights will be terminated. It seems as though the case is moving in that direction, but we've been surprised before!
Through it all, it has been helpful to remember that we are fighting a spiritual battle. I have an app on my phone that gives me weekly Bible verses to focus on. The last two weeks have been a timely reminder of this battle that we are fighting:
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.
Ephesians 6:12-13
