Connections

I had MOPS this morning and came home very grateful for the opportunity to connect with other moms. I happen to have possibly the best MOPS discussion group (just my humble opinion), and we have some great conversations. It is so nice to know that other moms are experiencing some of the same joys and frustrations as I am. And it is good to be able to rejoice with other moms in things that happen in their lives and pray for them as they go through difficulties.

It reminded me of how important it is to build relationships. There are negative consequences when we isolate ourselves. I tend to become inward focused, thinking that I am the only one who has problems - that everyone else has it all together. I start having big pity parties where I am the only one invited. Is anyone with me on this? As Christians, we are called to have community and be connected.

Hebrews 10:23-25 says,

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another..."

This may seem a little off the topic, but bare with me here. Mike and I have recently watched a lot of documentaries about the Amish. Secretly I've always wanted to be Amish, but I'm pretty sure I'd only last a day or two. While I disagree with a lot of the Amish beliefs, there are some things that I think we can learn from them. Much of their motivation for living simple lives is to preserve relationship. They don't have cars because a car would take them away from their community. They don't have phones because why visit when you can just call? Let me take it a little further. If I have a phone, I'll call instead of visit. If I have e-mail, I'll e-mail instead of call and if I have Facebook, I don't need to e-mail because all I need to do is take a look at my friends' statuses to find out what's going on in their lives.

Am I going to sell my car, cancel my Facebook account, get rid of my e-mail and throw away my phone? Probably not, but it does spur me on to be more intentional about relationships that are encouraging and that stir me up to love and good works.

A Quest for Joy

I've been on a quest lately. A quest to put joy back in my day. This started a few weeks ago when the baby blues were getting me down. I'd just given birth to our 3rd little bundle of joy and honestly, there were several days when I did not want to be in my shoes. It has become increasingly difficult to stay on top of housework, I have a 16 month old who doesn't talk, but instead grunts and screams about whatever she wants, and a 3 year old who had decided that Daddy wasn't as qualified as Mommy to help with things like getting dressed, brushing teeth, going to the bathroom, etc. (You name it, he wanted Mommy to help) I'm not looking for pity, because I know that MANY moms are there with me and MANY moms have been there and survived. I just know that on those days I felt like I couldn't do this job of being a Mommy.

I've always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom, so I should be joyful in everything it entails, right? I wish it was that easy. Since a big part of my struggle was patience with my kiddos and having a hard time accepting them for who they are, I decided it was time for me to change my perspective. That's when I started my quest. Every day I look for something positive about each of my kids and then tell them about it. Sounds simple, right? Most days its pretty easy to find at least one good thing about them, but I have to admit there have been a couple days (yesterday being one of them) when it was difficult to recall positive things at the end of the day. For the most part though, it has helped me to change my perspective and most of all my attitude toward my children and this job that God has entrusted me with. It has been fun to keep my eye out all day for positive things they do and try to choose one of them to tell them about.

I am much more okay with Norah's grunts as she tries to communicate her desires, because I have been able to pick up on the other ways that she shows her personality, like her facial expressions, body language and giggles. I've seen more positive things about Tate who has shown compassion for his sisters and eagerness to "help" his Daddy on the projects around the house. We've even noticed that he's been asking Daddy to help him with more things too. Is that a direct result of my quest, or just coincidence? I don't know, but I'll take it. I still haven't mastered seeing the positive in the clutter that I seem to be constantly stepping on, around or over. I'll let you know when that happens!

And the other thing that replenishes the joy in my day? Time in God's word. I need to remind myself of that at times, and I never regret when I've taken the time to let Him speak to me. One day in particular when the baby blues were getting me down, I read 2 Corinthians 4. Some of the verses that spoke to me in my time of need were:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay,

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed:

perplexed, but not driven to despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken;

struck down, but not destroyed." (vs. 7-9)

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away,

our inner self is being renewed day by day.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us

an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." (vs. 16-17)