Time to Wake Up!

I love it when I realize a lesson that God is teaching me. The big lessons are kind of obvious, and the smaller lessons are a little trickier to spot. I'd like to say that this was one of those lessons where I was so in tune to what God was doing that I noticed a detail of my life that He was working on. I can't. This was one of those biggies, and I am SO thankful for what He has done for me.

God woke me up.

One Thursday morning, I tearfully told Mike that I really didn't enjoy my life. I love my husband and my kids, and I'm doing what I always dreamed of doing, but I just didn't enjoy my life. Somewhere along the line I had begun to see my life as one long to-do list that was never fully accomplished. I would get irritated when I tried to work on my never-ending to-do list and my kids would interrupt my efforts. It stressed me out when my house was messy (which is pretty much all the time with a 4yo, 2yo and 1yo). I got frustrated with their constant demands on my time.

We were having a leadership seminar at church the next night that was exactly what I needed to hear. One of us needed to stay back with the kids, and in God's orchestration, we decided that I would go and Mike would stay home. The video we watched was of Priscilla Shirer. She talked about our tendency to be discontent with life, constantly waiting for that next thing. Maybe you're single, and you think that life will start being great when you're married. Maybe you're married without kids and you begin to think, "Oh, life will be great when I am holding that baby in my arms." Then you have kids and you might think that life will be better when they're out of this toddler stage. I could list more, but you get the idea.

Priscilla went on to say that we need to wake up, and see what God is doing in the present, instead of sleeping through it and waiting for the next season of life. I realized that this was just what God needed to tell me. Then in God's way, He put me in a discussion group with women who had grown children. The first discussion question was, "Have you ever had a season of your life that you slept through?" Before I had said a word, every one of those women said that they felt like they slept through the years when their kids were young. With tears flowing down my face, I confessed that I had been asleep and God was waking me up.

I got home and told Mike about it all. God was waking me up! I am so grateful! Life is so much more enjoyable with my eyes open! I can see what God is doing in my kids, and don't get so annoyed at their antics. I am more present with them, able to live life instead of dreading my to-do list that constantly hung out in the back of my mind. I still have moments when I recognize that I am beginning to sleepwalk, and in those moments I pray that God would wake me up.

I don't share this with the blog world to have you think, "Oh, poor Melissa. I had no idea you felt this way." Instead, I share this to shout out what God has done in my life. It is truly a transformation in the way I view my life and I am so grateful for what He has done. I also think that there may be some other sleepwalking moms out there who might need a little encouragement. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. Maybe you're not a sleepwalking mom, but you are sleepwalking in the stage of life you are in. Take heart and know that God can and will wake you up and help you to SEE the ways He is at work in your life. They're all around you. It's time to wake up and start enjoying them.