Not Just an Ordinary Day

This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My patience was thin and my kids were testing me, so I decided we needed a change of scenery for the day. I packed up the kids and headed to St. Cloud where I had pictures waiting since February to be picked up. I thought we could go to the mall, pick up the pictures, play at the indoor play area (since it's April 9th and snowy), get some groceries and lunch and head home.

We did indeed find the pictures waiting for us, and headed over to the play area. There was a little boy playing too who looked to be about 5. At one point I saw Tate fall off of one of the play things (that he had worked really hard to conquer), and then noticed that 5 year old on top of where Tate used to be. I thought that maybe he had pushed Tate off, but since I didn't see anything happen, I figured I'd let it be. A bit later, Tate was standing on top of a hollow log. This time I watched as this little boy came up and hit my son in the legs trying to knock him down - twice. I don't know about other moms, but I get mama-bearish at times like that. Since his parents were in a place where they couldn't see what he was doing, I told that boy to knock it off (okay, I said it a little nicer than that, in a way a 5 year old would understand, but I felt like telling him what I really thought. Don't forget that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.) As we walked down the hall after leaving, I practiced with Tate how to be respectfully assertive in a situation like that. I don't want my kid to be the one who's always picked on. That was Tate's life-lesson for the day.

From there, we decided that lunch was the next stop. Since I had a craving for Chipotle yesterday, and we don't have one of those in our town, that is where we I decided we'd go for lunch. I had a general idea of where it was, but wasn't super confident in how to get there. Nevertheless, we headed out on the streets of St. Cloud, only to arrive at Chipotle about 30 minutes later. Was Chipotle actually 30 minutes away, you ask? Why no. Actually, it is about 3 minutes away. When I was thoroughly lost, I called my mom in Apple Valley who graciously looked up a map of St. Cloud, along with the Chipotle's address and guided me there. Who says you don't need your mommy when you're 32?

A lot of confusion and a couple U-turns later, the kids and I made it to the restaurant. Tate loves tacos, so I knew it would be a hit with him. I excitedly told Norah while we waited in line that I would get her a quesadilla just like the one mommy made yesterday. We made it through the line, found our seats, set down our food and my sweet little 2 year old says, "ques-dilla?" Yep, this mommy forgot to get one of her children any food for lunch. I looked at the line, and realized I couldn't wait in line while my kids sat at the table by themselves, so I got her started on chips and some of the pork from Tate's taco. The line never did really go down enough for me to make a quick trip up to buy my daughter some lunch, so she went without her quesadilla. But you know, she never brought it up again while she munched on food from Tate's plate. Thankful.

One of the benefits of getting lost is that you find things along the way that you didn't know were there. On one of my wrong turns in my failed efforts to find Chipotle, I stumbled upon Walmart. I silently said, "Thanks, God for helping me find Walmart, 'cause I want to go there after lunch," so when all the kids were strapped in after our delightful meal, we headed to Walmart since I now knew where it was.

You know how there're signs on the bathroom doors in stores that say, "No merchandise beyond this point?" I broke that rule today. What's a mom to do when one child says in the middle of her shopping trip, "Mom, I have to poop." You bring the other two kids and the cart into the bathroom with you. That's what you do.

Then, there's that glorious moment when you discover half-way through checkout that you don't have your wallet. Searching, searching. Relief! You have the checkbook! Problem solved, right? Wrong. The cashier says that she needs to see my ID in order for the check to go through. Ummm....that's in my wallet that is more than 50 miles away on my kitchen counter. "Can I call my husband so he can give you a credit card number?" "No, we need the person present. I'm sorry, without ID, there's nothing we can do." The manager then tells the employee standing next to her to get a cart so he can take my food and re-shelve it. At this point, I am trying not to cry while I gather up my things and my children and make my way out of the store without my food. Meanwhile, my son is repeatedly telling me, "Mom, I want our stuff back." "Mom, where's our stuff?" There was a kind woman who saw my tears on the way out of the store who asked if I was okay. I assured her that yes, I was okay, just thoroughly embarrassed. I know, someday I'll be able to laugh. But not today. When we arrived home, my husband assured me that everything was okay, and he went to the local grocery store to pick up the food we needed for supper.

A potty accident and a spilled cup of milk later, the kids are in bed and my eyes are tired. Through it all, I'm pretty sure God's got a lesson in it all for me (and maybe for the Walmart employees who were probably a little uncomfortable when their customer walked away crying. I'm guessing it doesn't happen every day.) All I have to say is this:

Tomorrow is a new day.

Time to Wake Up!

I love it when I realize a lesson that God is teaching me. The big lessons are kind of obvious, and the smaller lessons are a little trickier to spot. I'd like to say that this was one of those lessons where I was so in tune to what God was doing that I noticed a detail of my life that He was working on. I can't. This was one of those biggies, and I am SO thankful for what He has done for me.

God woke me up.

One Thursday morning, I tearfully told Mike that I really didn't enjoy my life. I love my husband and my kids, and I'm doing what I always dreamed of doing, but I just didn't enjoy my life. Somewhere along the line I had begun to see my life as one long to-do list that was never fully accomplished. I would get irritated when I tried to work on my never-ending to-do list and my kids would interrupt my efforts. It stressed me out when my house was messy (which is pretty much all the time with a 4yo, 2yo and 1yo). I got frustrated with their constant demands on my time.

We were having a leadership seminar at church the next night that was exactly what I needed to hear. One of us needed to stay back with the kids, and in God's orchestration, we decided that I would go and Mike would stay home. The video we watched was of Priscilla Shirer. She talked about our tendency to be discontent with life, constantly waiting for that next thing. Maybe you're single, and you think that life will start being great when you're married. Maybe you're married without kids and you begin to think, "Oh, life will be great when I am holding that baby in my arms." Then you have kids and you might think that life will be better when they're out of this toddler stage. I could list more, but you get the idea.

Priscilla went on to say that we need to wake up, and see what God is doing in the present, instead of sleeping through it and waiting for the next season of life. I realized that this was just what God needed to tell me. Then in God's way, He put me in a discussion group with women who had grown children. The first discussion question was, "Have you ever had a season of your life that you slept through?" Before I had said a word, every one of those women said that they felt like they slept through the years when their kids were young. With tears flowing down my face, I confessed that I had been asleep and God was waking me up.

I got home and told Mike about it all. God was waking me up! I am so grateful! Life is so much more enjoyable with my eyes open! I can see what God is doing in my kids, and don't get so annoyed at their antics. I am more present with them, able to live life instead of dreading my to-do list that constantly hung out in the back of my mind. I still have moments when I recognize that I am beginning to sleepwalk, and in those moments I pray that God would wake me up.

I don't share this with the blog world to have you think, "Oh, poor Melissa. I had no idea you felt this way." Instead, I share this to shout out what God has done in my life. It is truly a transformation in the way I view my life and I am so grateful for what He has done. I also think that there may be some other sleepwalking moms out there who might need a little encouragement. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. Maybe you're not a sleepwalking mom, but you are sleepwalking in the stage of life you are in. Take heart and know that God can and will wake you up and help you to SEE the ways He is at work in your life. They're all around you. It's time to wake up and start enjoying them.