First Family Roadtrip

This last month has been quite crazy. My husband was in Georgia for 3 weeks of training, came home for a week and then had another week of training in Colorado. We decided it would be best for the family if we went along for the week in Colorado, so we hopped in the car 9 days ago and took our first family road trip! In all, I think it was a success....staying in a hotel for a week with 6 people in one room, including a toddler who still needs naps, finding my way around Denver during the day while my hubby was in training, driving for hours straight with minimal meltdowns (thank you to whoever invented the DVD player).

Here are some photos of our trip in no particular order:

We camped in Custer State Park one night on the way home. My husband said I can't call it camping because it was in a camping cabin. This was the view just up the hill from our little cabin.

One day in Denver, we went to the Museum of Nature and Science. We spent several hours there, and could have stayed longer! The kids really liked the Minerals and Gems exhibit - especially the sparkly purple and pink ones! If you are ever in Denver, I highly recommend going here!

We had a little picnic outside the museum.

There was a giant elephant statue that the kids played on.

The kids had a lot of fun searching for the animals in these big dioramas. 

View of Denver from the roof of the museum.

"Mommy, take a picture of me and the polar bear! I'm going to make this face so I look scared!"

One day, we drove up to Rocky Mountain National Park to do some hiking. Coincidentally, and very beneficially for me, my parents were in Denver at the same time we were, so they took this trip with us. T said several times, "Wow! What a place!" He has such a great appreciation for God's creation!

We spent a good chunk of time sitting on the edge of this stream watching the fish.

Sprague Lake

The kids wanted to swim every day....they didn't get their wish every day, but we did have lots of fun at the pool. 

The Wildlife Loop at Custer State Park was a great drive. Our little man, A, now wants to buy a baby buffalo. Last night when I was putting him to bed, he asked, "Can we buy a baby buffalo?" I asked him what we would do with it. "Put it in the back." Then I asked what we would do once it got big. He said, "Pet it!"

Have I said thank you to the person who invented the car DVD player??? I was always opposed to them before children, and now that I have kids and go on long car rides, I realize that they are a sanity saver. The only down side is that now we are going through a little movie withdrawal.

We came home a little earlier than we had planned because we realized that we were all getting tired and could use a good night's sleep in our own beds (which we got last night). Yesterday morning, when we were leaving, I told the kids to get in the car and A cried, "I don't want to get in the car!" I think he'd had enough! 

Now it's time to unpack and do some laundry.....which is why I am sitting here on my computer!

Adoption Progress

I thought I should do a quick update on the status of our adoption.

One week ago, we heard from the social worker that the judge ruled in favor of A staying with us and terminating his parents' rights. This is a huge step toward adoption, but we are still a few months away from the adoption being official.

The next step is to wait and see if they appeal the decision. If they do decide to appeal, then filing for that takes a few months. There are a whole bunch of deadlines in that process that I don't fully understand, and I'm sure you aren't interested in so I'll spare you the details, but that process takes about 3 months in total before the judges at appellate court make a decision.

If they do not decide to appeal the decision, we move into the adoption paperwork process, which from what I hear is more work for the social worker than it is for us. We just have to sign the paperwork that she prepares.

We are so encouraged by this progress, and are excited to settle in to our "normal."

We are one week shy of reaching 1 year since we met this little guy and welcomed him into our family, and it has been a huge year for all of us. We've grown in ways we never expected, and love him more than we could have imagined.

Memoirs of a Pastor's Wife

mem·oir

ˈmemˌwär/

noun

1. 1.

   a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources.

   
   
2. 2.

   an essay on a learned subject.

I was a Pastor's Wife (PW for short) for a little more than 5 years, and I've been a former PW for 3 months. That makes it history. Throughout my time as a PW, I made some observations, learned some stuff that formed my personal knowledge on the subject. That makes my reflections a memior, right?

Without further ado, Memoirs of a Pastor's Wife:

I write these things to help the average church goer, and in turn, help their pastor's wives, because it's not something you fully understand until you've walked in those shoes, or mudboots, if you will. Yes, sometimes the position is messy. Most of the time it is not, but it can be kind of complicated.

PW's are people, just like you
Sometimes I think there's this assumption that the PW is somehow a better Christian, or holier than the average church member, but just because they're married to the pastor (who also is not perfect, by the way), doesn't mean that they have it all together, or have had a picture perfect life.

It is okay to be yourself around the PW. In fact, it is very refreshing when people are comfortable to be themselves.

Being a PW can be lonely
There might be many reasons for this, but there are a couple that I came up with during my time as a PW. One reason might be because people don't feel like they can be themselves. They don't feel at ease, so they don't want to be around the PW. It goes back to the point that people view the PW as a holier person. If you think that someone is better than you are, then it is our nature to not want to be around them. So, if you change your view of the PW, and realize she's a person just like you are, then you can be around her more easily. Another point though, is that maybe there are people who reflect Christ in a way that you desire to (maybe it's the PW, maybe it's not). It is always good to spend time with people like that, because iron sharpens iron.

Or maybe it's lonely because a lot of people assume that because you are the PW, that you already have a lot of friends, so you don't reach out. Don't be afraid to reach out to your PW and just be a friend.

The PW doesn't know everything
I can't tell you how many times someone came up to me at church and just started talking to me about something in their personal life that they had talked to my husband about, assuming that because they told him, he had told me. Sometimes I'd just smile, nod and ask clarifying questions. I probably should have been more bold and said, "You know, he didn't mention that to me, I didn't know _______." Sure, sometimes he would tell me things that were happening, but most of the converstations that he had at church were not talked about at home. So, if you want your PW to know something that is going on in your life, feel free to tell her.

They also don't know about every event going on at church. I intentionally made my main ministry to my husband and our family, but I often felt out of the loop because I was so involved with home life - and that was okay.

The PW cares about you
PWs care about the people in the church too. It might not be their "job," but they are in partnership with their husband in church ministry, so naturally they care. They care about the health of the church body, and about the health of it's people.

The Pastor's biggest fan is his wife
There were Sundays when my husband would get up to preach, and I would think, "That's MY husband!" I loved to hear him preach God's word. I loved to see him in his role as pastor.

This is the way it should be, because he needs someone who always believes in him no matter what, but it also makes it really hard when someone in the church is upset with him (which happens). The PW loves her husband as a man, and as a pastor, so when there is a conflict, the cheerleader wife becomes his biggest ally and defender. This makes church conflict particularily hard for the PW. Sometimes the pastor chooses not to share everything that is happening in order to protect his wife from bitterness that can take root. My husband shared some things with me because he is an outward processor, but I know he didn't share everything with me in order to protect me.

Being in ministry is a great privilege, and also a great burden. People are watching your every move (okay maybe not EVERY move, but when someone asks what you were doing up so late at night because they drove by your house and your lights were on, it kinda feels like it). Pastors and their wives want to be an example to people in their walk with Christ, their marriage, and their family, but remember that they are not perfect. The Pastor and his wife are sinners saved by grace, and are being sanctified day by day just like you.

One of the Many Blessings of Foster Care

This is one of my all time favorite pics of our kids - several years before we added our 4th blessing to the mix through foster care.

One of the many blessings in our foster care/adoption journey has been watching our biological children eagerly welcome someone new into our family. From day 1, A was their "baby" brother. They've asked countless times if he is going to stay with us In the beginning, I sometimes wondered if that question coming from our youngest was asked more out of a desire for him to go back, but that question now is undeniably out of hope that he will stay in our family. Recently, we were talking about this, and I told them that the day is coming very soon when the judge is going to decide for sure if A will be with us, or if he will go back to live with his parents. The kids are pretty convinced that he will be staying with us, and the oldest said, "That is going to be the best day! We are going to jump up and down and be so excited!"

I am so grateful that they have climbed on board so easily. There have been days when it hasn't been easy. When they've extended forgiveness. When they've listened to long tantrums. When we've had to pay extra attention to him when we might have been paying attention to them. But they still adore him.

Weary Traveller

Weary. That's the word that I am using to describe my state of mind right now in this road of foster care and adoption.

We gave our hearts to a little boy more than 10 months ago, and we continue to wait and see what the final outcome will be. For now, we keep doing what we're doing. That's been my motto whenever we've thought we were coming close to finality, only to be extended one, two months. We'll just keep doing what we're doing. We will keep parenting this adorable little guy. We will keep kissing his boo-boos. We will keep feeding him, and changing him. We will keep loving him.

Throughout this process, we've seen a lot of grace given to the parents, and questioned if the decisions being made were truly in the best interest of the child. For instance, our little guy needs to visit his mom after 7 months of no contact - twice next week. This visit will be observed by a well-respected attachment specialist, so I think it will be very telling, but at the same time we know that it will be very stressful for him.

Thankfully, we are on the home stretch, with court in less than a month, which will determine whether or not parental rights will be terminated. It seems as though the case is moving in that direction, but we've been surprised before!

Through it all, it has been helpful to remember that we are fighting a spiritual battle. I have an app on my phone that gives me weekly Bible verses to focus on. The last two weeks have been a timely reminder of this battle that we are fighting:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

Ephesians 6:12-13

Starting Again

Hello Readers,
  Yes, I've been silent on my blog for a while. For a couple of reasons, but due to some technical difficulties on authenchomemaking.com, I have decided to revamp my old blog and get a new start. So, if you bookmark Authentic Homemaking, THANK YOU, and change that bookmark to: www.authentichomemaking.blogspot.com.
  I'm excited to be up and running again! Thanks for reading!

Melissa

Summer 2014 in Pictures

Get ready for a lot of pictures. It's been a while since I wrote on the blog, and every once in a while a good photo dump is needed. At least it helps me feel like I've somewhat documented what our family has been up to since I am years behind in printing pictures.

This is my yard! I love where we live! Also, for Mother's Day, my handy husband built me a 7'2" fence around my garden (that is at the bottom of the picture), so all of my veggies won't get eaten by the resident deer population. So far so good. I am so excited about my garden this year! Today I froze 2 gallons worth of green beans and then went out and picked more. After feeding the deer last summer, I am so thrilled to see the garden thrive this year!

T-ball cheering section! Really, the girls were only there for the suckers I promised them!

Tate's first year of T-ball was a success. By success I mean that he enjoyed it and wants to do it again next year! At this age, as long as they have fun that's all that matters!

On the Fourth of July we went to the parade in Spicer and the kids got lots of candy....that we are still eating, and it's August 16th.

Waiting for more candy....

Anja digging into her candy. When you are a 2 year old, who needs to get more candy when you've got lots in your bag to eat right now???

Since there were lots of people at the cabin for the weekend, not enough beds for everyone and a lot of noise, we skipped nap time so our kids would sleep well in the tent at night. However, both days Anja ended up sleeping outside in her swim suit in someone's arms. I don't think Grandma cared, though.

Tate and Norah at the park near the cabin. A must-visit at least once a year while we are there.

We love it when Auntie Kristen comes to visit!

Apparently this is how you sleep when you're really exhausted. 

A fun morning at the splash pad and park with good friends!

Tate loves to do projects and make things, so I got brave one day and let him do some paper mache. He really did love it and it wasn't THAT messy. 

We went to the county fair to watch our friend Talia show her horse and my no-fear-child got to sit on the horse with her! Thanks, Tal!

Kids in the giant adirondack chair at the county fair!

Norah being silly on our drive to Chicago! 

We got to spend the day with relatives in Illinois. These are all of the 2nd cousins, and I know you can't really see Noelle's face, but this one is my favorite, because the kids are shaped like a heart. Cheesy, I know, but isn't it cute? I'm pretty sure that wasn't planned when we threw all the kids in the chairs and started acting crazy behind the cameras to get all the kids to look.

More water park pictures:

While we were in Illinois, we got to meet our new nephew/cousin. Norah loves babies and was eager to hold him.

Backyard fun and Grandma and Grandpa's house!

On the first night of our trip to Chicago, we discovered that we forgot Anja's bag of clothes at home. Thankfully, my mom had some 1980's keepsakes stashed in a drawer, and Auntie Cassie had some girl clothes in her stash. I am pretty sure Anja didn't notice or care that none of the clothes she wore for a week were hers.

A little baby lovin' time:

Norah has some beautiful long blond hair that begs to be brushed and braided, but she does not ever want me to comb it much less braid it. But, when an Auntie wanted to braid her hair, she was all for it! 

Aunt Cassie even did her hair to match!

Just chillin' in the car with my shades on. Thanks Grandma Sharon! They've been a hit!

Daddy finished the tree house!!!

We spent several days of our vacation at the cabin, and had gorgeous weather. The kids did a lot of swimming and playing in the sand. And everyone caught a fish or two off the dock!

Tate made it his own challenge to make it across the beach without touching the sand. He persevered and tried over and over again until he finally made it. It was fun to see him just keep on trying without getting frustrated, but being determined to get it.

A boy and his tackle box.

It wouldn't be vacation without a trip to DQ, right?